Exes 1 and 2

Sometimes I think i miss my  exes. But i realized that i only miss certain aspects of our relationship and small parts of their personality, not really them as a person. Ex #1 was sweet and understanding. We'd be in public and if we saw something funny we'd look at each other and bust out with a hysterical laugh. That was important to me, ya know? Having that one person that understood why you thought something was so hilarious, to be able to understand your humor. Other reasons why our laughs were so hysterical together? Because his laugh was something beautiful. He had two laughs. One in which he almost sounded like a little girl, as if he couldn't breath and the humor was sucking away the air. Then there was another. This one was more hardy, definitely more man like, very...manly and strong. It had a certain base behind it because his voice was and is still so deep for his age. This..manly laugh was the laugh that put a smile on my face. Just to see him laugh with such a beautiful smile, it would cause a very girly giggle to erupt from the very pit of my stomach. It would make me happy. It was something sweet and intimate, as we stared into each other's eyes and laughed until our stomach's tightened. He made me feel beautiful. I miss that.

Ex #2 was very special. Sometimes i think i really miss him. But before our feelings grew strong, we were really great friends. Always acting silly, unafraid to be ourselves around each other. When we finally realized that their were feelings, something with a deeper meaning, things changed. We were unafraid to be ourselves around each other, but afraid to be all of who we are in front of each other. Afraid? Why were we afraid? We were afraid that their might be something about us that the other wouldn't like. But we had fun. Our relationship was close, fun and outgoing, intimate but we had never gone all the way. He made me feel sexy. I miss this. Our connection was strong because we both had wanted to take it to the next level. But we weren't ready... I wasn't. He made me laugh. He's still the only person that can get tears rolling down my cheeks when i laugh. I always felt better around him because he made me laugh so much, and i loved it. I miss it. Sometimes i think i miss him. Sometimes I hope he misses me. I still see him, just because we pretty much have the same friends. I'm glad i still see him. I'm okay with the fact that we aren't together anymore, but if he wasn't in my life at all i'd truly be heart broken. When we broke up i cried, over and over...for hours. But not because i wasn't his girlfriend, but because i thought i would never talk to him or laugh with him...never thought he'd talk to me like he talks to her. He doesn't talk to me like he still talks to her, but im okay with that. I don't miss him. He had to many secrets.

Sometimes i think i miss ex#1.